I have two children, both under that age of five.
This summer, our local movie house is running a free movie program. Three days a week they screen a slightly less than new feature before the actual films get going, and they open the doors to the community and let the masses watch for free.
Now, at 10 am on weekdays, that means moms...with kids. People like me.
Mom's who rarely get out of the house at all during the week. Mom's who aren't certain their children will sit through an entire movie and arent about to pay 8$ each to find out during a regular feature.
Its a good thing too. My children, at 2 and 4, are not equipped to sit through a two hour film. They are not really excited about sitting through a half hour of Kai Lan unless its the episode where Ho Ho hits RinTu.
In a word, I love the free movie program. I can take them out and get them used to the theater, and not lose a penny when we have to leave early. (We take the popcorn we buy with us when we have to leave) Also, I assure myself that I am building up their stamina and instilling a love of theater, fiction and movie going in general for the future.
Actually, I used to love the free movie program. Two weeks ago that all changed.
They showed Planet 51 you see, and I hadn't. Seen it that is, I had managed to miss it the first time around and no one had thought to inform me that it was brilliant, campy, funny space-y and all the good things I love in one neat package.
Five minutes into my revelation, shaking with laughter and struggling to breathe, my children got fed up with Planet 51. Huh? I said. Are you two NUTS? This is the funniest thing I've seen in year.
"We want to go home."
"Are you sure you don't want to watch just a little more?"
"But mommy's really enjoying this movieeeeeeeeeee."
Nope. We had to go. The two critics at my elbows weren't into negotiating, they didn't care about my whining. They'd had enough.
The next week the theater played Alvin and the Chipmunks part three or something. I cannot describe to you how bad this film was. I can't. Words wont go there.
My children did.
They froze, riveted and fascinated as the badly animated C.G. chipmunks sang ookey bubblegum pop music and a once great actor fell to a new low.
They loved it. They didn't even twitch. They watched the entire, freaking movie while I whimpered and averted my gaze.
So much for their tastes.
So much for my love of free movie day.
Oh yeah, we'll go again. I'm sure I'll love sitting through the rest of the line-up....not a sci-fi in the bunch, but hey, I'm a mom. I can meditate during the film.
I can make to-do lists in my head.
I can work on future plots of novels.
I haven't been to a movie (for anyone over waist high) in three years.