Drinking the Novel

Writers have a long history of drunkenness (Both real and completely Exaggerated). In the spirit of authorly angst and punchy "I"m finally almost done with the book" fun, I have procrastinated all  morning devising the following drinking guide to the story creation process.

Drinking the Novel:

Inspiration strikes(Glorious): Glass of wine
Plotting(Intellectual time): Gin
Facing the blank page (Nerves): Shot of Vodka
Inciting Incident: (Getting excited) Appletini
Commitment Point: (Go time)Stout Ale
Midpoint:(Shifting Gears) Rum
Downtime:(Relaxing) Fuzzy Navel
Dark Moment: (Tragedy) Shot of Whiskey
Main Conflict: (Ahhhh!) Tequila
Third Act Twist: (Surprise) Grab anything!!
Resolution: (Tie it up neatly) Kahlua
Finished the book: (Celebration) Champagne
Editing:(Kill me now) Rum, Tequila and the rest of the Whiskey

Don't try this at home, kids.
*above guide is intended for novel creation of a long and arduous nature. For the freaks of nature who whip theses things out in a weekend, alcohol poisoning is no laughing matter.